Unworthy (Poem) – February 26, 2019

May your light always shine upon me Lord

That I may never know the darkness of my iniquity

May I always remember and redeem the gift

The life that you have given me, that I may

Give back to you my life in return

I pray that day that I am found worthy

If only to peer through the gates of paradise

To feel the warmth of your all consuming love

upon my face, falling upon my face to embrace

your blessed feet, and those of the saints

Those holy ones who have gone before me

And those who will follow me in my repose.

I pray that I am deemed worthy, if only

To hear the echo of your heavenly choir

I pray that I may be received at least

to hold the door for those most holy,

And higher than such a wretched sinner

as myself, most unworthy to receive you

and to be received by you, oh Lord.

Psalmody #2 – Prayer of Repentance – January 17, 2019

Oh Lord, I am not worthy of your love.

I am most unworthy to receive the gifts you have given me.

I do not praise you as I should, and I do not pray likewise.

I am not mindful of your presence in all things.

I am a wretched sinner, Lord; I am deserving of death.

I am not worthy to receive the light you shine,

rather appearing to prefer the darkness before me.

Why cannot I not turn away from myself oh Lord,

and leave behind the fetters of sin that hold me.

My very soul is disquieted within me, it weeps

My very soul sheds many tears for my many sins,

for they are great in iniquity, and even greater in number.

Like the stars in the sky, so are my misdeeds,

and the darkness behind them consumes me.

Yet I know that your light shines brightly, uncreated,

and you alone can dispel the darkness that consumes.

You alone are the light unto all nations, and all people.

I will step out from the darkness of the shadow of my sins,

and bring your light into where the darkness dwells.

I pray, Oh Lord, that I shine brightly, but shine

Not of myself, or my word, or my works, I pray

That I shine because of nothing of myself, but because of you,

I pray that I will shine the light of your truth,

that all would be enkindled in the warmth of your love,

As long  as I carry that light within me,

I pray the shadow of my sin nevermore consumes me.